This past weekend I had the opportunity to go out of town with my husband and daughter. But I was torn between staying at home and having some "me" time, or go out and support my husband during his big event. I really just wanted to stay home, I was upset and distraut over my 12 year old son leaving on his own for the first time, on a 10 day trip to California. I didnt want to burden others with my bad mood, and thought the best course is to just stay home and keep my bad mood to myself.
But there in the background was this nagging feeling that I should go with my husband and my daughter. My mind wanted to stay home and pout, but in my heart was the feeling of sucking it up and just go. So I did.
It was hard to get motivated, it was even harder to deal with my slow meticulous husband, who had procrastinated so much, that caused us to be hours late (this was my frustrated mind speaking). This was just to much effort to go do something I really didnt want to go to. But I had created this pattern of listening to my intuition and yes sometimes it screams at me, and other times it whispers quietly, I had heard it and I was doing what it wished. The results had to be good, they always are when I listen to my intuition.
So off I go to my husbands event. The supportive wife, the grumpy mom, the pouty adult. I even invited one of my daughters friends, to help her have a good time, and not be stuck with grumpy mom. I did my best to mind my mouth, to completely support my husband in every way that I knew was right. I even offered to drive all the way back home and grab his forgotten items, after he realized it when we got there. (it was not an excuse to get away from them, but because it felt like the right thing to do.) It worked out that I didnt need to go, and once the stress of having to drive back home (3 more hours and then back 3 more), was over, I settled in to make our homestead for the weekend. I felt relieved about my choice, at that moment, when everything was final that I was staying.
The weekend ended up being great. We spent time with people we know that we hadnt gotten as much quality time with before, creating new bonds. I spent time relaxing, taking pictures from afar with out the stress of them being perfect. I played with some apps on my phone making the pictures pretty, being creative. I shared these pictures with our group of people, so they could all enjoy seeing themselves, at their event. I relaxed in to the basics of cooking, cleaning, and relaxing with no anticipation, but just being in the moment. Living in what is kindly referred to as "Shaniko Time". Meaning at our own time, with no stress of meeting a specific time.
The weekend came to end in the same fashion, organic, relaxed, no living in the future or the past, no leaving at a specific time. Wen enjoyed a gentle conversation on our way home. Monday morning came with a new feeling. A feeling that I havent felt since I came back from Alaska. That renewed feeling. A feeling that I can step back into my life, much more relaxed, a clearer mind, someone who felt good with where they are at, and where they are going. Someone who feels confident in making decisions. These feelings had been slowly dwindling away, since Alaska.
It dawned on me at that moment. I need more breaks. By breaks I dont mean just sitting around doing nothing. I need to be rejuvenated with change, embracing where I am in life, and kicking back enjoying where thats at. Stepping away from home is good for me. I dont have to go as far as Alaska. I can go a few hours away. Just some where, where I can enjoy the basics of life, and be ok with it.
I currently feel grateful, and aware, and am embracing this feeling. Thank you Intuition for letting me see this. Please continue to keep me aware of what I need. And Thank you for taking the time to join me on my journey.
But there in the background was this nagging feeling that I should go with my husband and my daughter. My mind wanted to stay home and pout, but in my heart was the feeling of sucking it up and just go. So I did.
It was hard to get motivated, it was even harder to deal with my slow meticulous husband, who had procrastinated so much, that caused us to be hours late (this was my frustrated mind speaking). This was just to much effort to go do something I really didnt want to go to. But I had created this pattern of listening to my intuition and yes sometimes it screams at me, and other times it whispers quietly, I had heard it and I was doing what it wished. The results had to be good, they always are when I listen to my intuition.
So off I go to my husbands event. The supportive wife, the grumpy mom, the pouty adult. I even invited one of my daughters friends, to help her have a good time, and not be stuck with grumpy mom. I did my best to mind my mouth, to completely support my husband in every way that I knew was right. I even offered to drive all the way back home and grab his forgotten items, after he realized it when we got there. (it was not an excuse to get away from them, but because it felt like the right thing to do.) It worked out that I didnt need to go, and once the stress of having to drive back home (3 more hours and then back 3 more), was over, I settled in to make our homestead for the weekend. I felt relieved about my choice, at that moment, when everything was final that I was staying.
The weekend ended up being great. We spent time with people we know that we hadnt gotten as much quality time with before, creating new bonds. I spent time relaxing, taking pictures from afar with out the stress of them being perfect. I played with some apps on my phone making the pictures pretty, being creative. I shared these pictures with our group of people, so they could all enjoy seeing themselves, at their event. I relaxed in to the basics of cooking, cleaning, and relaxing with no anticipation, but just being in the moment. Living in what is kindly referred to as "Shaniko Time". Meaning at our own time, with no stress of meeting a specific time.
The weekend came to end in the same fashion, organic, relaxed, no living in the future or the past, no leaving at a specific time. Wen enjoyed a gentle conversation on our way home. Monday morning came with a new feeling. A feeling that I havent felt since I came back from Alaska. That renewed feeling. A feeling that I can step back into my life, much more relaxed, a clearer mind, someone who felt good with where they are at, and where they are going. Someone who feels confident in making decisions. These feelings had been slowly dwindling away, since Alaska.
It dawned on me at that moment. I need more breaks. By breaks I dont mean just sitting around doing nothing. I need to be rejuvenated with change, embracing where I am in life, and kicking back enjoying where thats at. Stepping away from home is good for me. I dont have to go as far as Alaska. I can go a few hours away. Just some where, where I can enjoy the basics of life, and be ok with it.
I currently feel grateful, and aware, and am embracing this feeling. Thank you Intuition for letting me see this. Please continue to keep me aware of what I need. And Thank you for taking the time to join me on my journey.
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